the seeds of our journey were sewn 3 weeks shy of 3 years ago when we decided to raise our family some where that was not los angeles. i remember the moment…a tiny baby gemma still facing backwards in the backseat…stopping at costco on the way home from a weekend in san diego we commited ourselves to australia.
tonight was one of those nights that confirmed we made a good decision. but by god, do i miss costco.
this morning i woke to the sounds of a baby fussing for some cuddles and milk. i looked at my watch (i would have consulted the iTouch but since it insists that it is currently 2 weeks and 9 hours ago, i find it a little less than useful) and was surprised at how reasonable the baby was being. 6 AM. i can deal with 6 AM especially when they had only been up once each in the night. as i got to the corner of the house that has the kids rooms and the guest bedroom, i paused. silence. through one door i could see gemma’s eyes open from under the pile of stuffed friends she had been sleeping with. it is always clover, so i started for clover’s door (she graduated from our closet to the guest room) when kieran let me know that he was the one jonesing for the boob.
wait. not clover? no screeching? am i in the right house?
i took kieran and gemma back to bed with me and nursed one while listening to the other one sing “head, shoulders, knees and toes” in a made up language. after a while i looked at my watch again. did clover move out over night? maybe i should go check her room for a ransom note. i opened her door and peeked in her bassinet and…
wait for it…
she was quiet. and awake. she looked up at me and just smiled. it happens around the globe every morning in houses everywhere else, but this morning, there was a miracle in our guestroom.
gemma is on school holidays for three weeks and so i really am a stay at home mom of 3 (THREE!) children. what do i do on her first day off? go to the mall! what? it was raining and chilly and for some reason, the chicken does not want the world to believe me and never cries in public.
today our outdoor plans were foiled again as well by gale force winds and rain that i swear would start as soon as i opened the front door just to piss me off. i decided that we would stay home and bond. so what can two 10 week olds and one 3.5 year old do together? not much would be the answer.
good old stand by…story time. we all piled on gemma’s bed and let me tell you as soon as we did, there was no where else i wanted to be. the babies love their big sister. they watch her like she is the queen of their world. me? i’m boobs, i get a smile now and then, but gemma, she is IT.
gemma grabbed a stack of books with a common theme of fairies. while i read and gemma turned the pages, the babies did not scream. they were tiny little slack jawed, starry eyed, suck ups. making cute goo’s and gaa’s when she even just glanced at them. i was almost jealous. but then clover started to fuss and before i could even get fully irritated, this happened, the simple moment when i swear my heart got too big for my body and a three year old changed my attitude… gemma did not miss a beat and she gently patted her sister on the head and said in the sweetest voice: “don’t worry clover, our mommy is right here. she is here and it will be alright.”
as i took a photo, it hit me hard…i am their mommy and right now in their lives, i have the power to make things alright. i better never forget that.
while i love every minute with the twins (shut up, deep down i do) and i can’t function without photographing my family and daily life, i want to go back to work. it has been ages since i took maternity leave. i have started to see my ads that i shot for The Little Gym pop up on websites and i get really excited.
i need to get back in and i have to basically start all over. wait, scratch that, i am expanding to a new market. australia, here i come. los angeles, i’ll work with you again in ‘09.
where to start, where to start…hmmm, a new chapter in my photography career…this could be good. really, really good. stay tuned.
(so nice to get a new face in front of my lens again)
every time i go out with the twins i hear 3 things. from smart people. people who, well, who could, at minimum, tell you that although peaches and bananas are fruit, they are not the same fruit. see where this is going?
stranger: twins! and you are out of the house already???
me: apparently.
stranger: a boy and a girl? you are so clever!
me: thanks?
and it never freaking fails, followed by this…
stranger: are they identical?
me: insert blank stare. i would slap my forehead at this point, but i think that might be rude.
on august 29th, my friend lost his beautiful wife, his best friend, in a terrible accident. an 8 year old girl lost her devoted mother…a mother whose image she will see in the mirror her whole life as she is the spitting image. so many people lost a friend and an industry lost a talented woman. it has taken me days to be able to face this. i cannot imagine their pain at the moment. one minute they were having a wonderful family vacation and the next they were in hell.
i pray for erich and beatrix to find some peace in their unbelievable pain.
i pray for melissa…she should not be gone so soon.
this is not a me post. please send your prayers and thoughts to the family…they will need them.
because somehow i am in my 6th month here. i get into the right side of the car to drive on the left side of the road as if it is all i have ever known. i am looking forward to a summer birthday party for my winter born daughter and next year i will plan an indoor party for my winter babies born in a month i usually spent covered in sand and bug spray as a child.
my oldest now calls cookies, bikkies, and drops her “r”s. none of the clothes we brought with us fit her anymore. i have 2 new kids with birth certificates from a country different than their sister’s. we phone their grammie and talk to her from a completely different day of the year.
i know how much i weigh in kilos and honestly people, it looks better like that. now 30 degrees is a hot day and going 60 for a car is not all that fast. in my vocabulary, sport has lost the final “s” and maths has found it. people will ask me out for a long mac in the arvo and i actually know what they mean. football has a third meaning and quite possibly a bigger following. my god…i really did move to australia.
we are moving clover to her own room the walk in closet tonight. we are really trying everything before we send her off to boarding nursery. kieran would sleep through the night if his sister was not screaming in his ear every 20 minutes.
reflux sucks, but reflux plus colic…well, that is about as much fun as being trapped on in a car on a long ride with an injured parrot on speed. i am doing everything that every book says. i am wearing her, i am medicating her, i have given her herbs, homeopathy, warm baths, white noise. i promise her jewelry, ponies, stickers…. my breast milk is now devoid of dairy, soy, nuts and even shellfish. i am tired and now i am also starving! all those book seem to agree that colic crying peaks at 8 weeks. clover jane is 8 weeks and 5 days and has clearly not read any of those books. 
the boy, he slept from 9PM to 5AM last night. he must really want that pony.
clover on the other hand is trying to kill us.
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