“that mom”

22 01 2009

today, i took gemma out for a movie date.  we saw Bolt and we had one of the best days…we danced in the mall to silly music not giving a darn what other people thought.

mall

she delighted in “paying” for the popcorn and drinks.  i delighted in watching her.

bolt

she sat on my lap for the whole show.  i hugged her and we laughed and it was just as it is supposed to be.

coke

later in the evening, back at home, i let the cleaning and feeding of all three kids get the better of me and i got upset at a little (ok, a lot) of spilled (ok, dumped) baby food.  i heard gemma say to clover, who was still laughing and finger painting with her apples, “no clovey, this isn’t a happy thing.  you should not have done that.”  i actually felt my heart breaking.  i wanted to go and dump apples on all of us and scream, “yes clovey and gemma and kieran, this IS a happy thing.  babies are supposed to dump food and we should all just step back and laugh together.  mommy was just being an idiot, human, but an idiot human.”

it was that moment and i decided i don’t want to be “that mom.”  ever again.  i was just upset because i wanted the situation to be something other than it was.  i did not want clover to be covered in apples.  i did not want the floor or highchair to be covered in apples.  i actually did not want the window to be covered in apples either, but they all were.  the one thing i could change was my attitude.

i learned a lesson today.

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16 responses

22 01 2009
Catherine

Oh Rach-this made me cry! It takes work to see the lighter side of life sometimes, but you are an amazing mom and your kids love you so much-I love you too!

22 01 2009
Catherine

oh yeah also meant to say-you are so right about expectations-when I learned that (ok thearpy told me 😉 ) it made sense-you get upset only if your expectations are not met…it is one of those light bulb moments 🙂 LOVE YOU

22 01 2009
Ann (Maddie's Mom)

I am thoroughly convinced that God gives us gentle reminders when we need them the most. You got your gentle reminder that you didn’t want to be “that mom”. You shared that with us. And in doing so, you gave me my gentle reminder that I don’t want to be “that mom” either, and the fact that my floor (and hallway) are completely covered in a box of Kix cereal right now really is okay. So thank you, Rachel. I’ve learned a lesson today, too. =)

22 01 2009
Shawn

wow, well said…

22 01 2009
Chelsey

a very good lesson — that we all need to be reminded of 🙂 thanks for this encouraging start to the day!

22 01 2009
Barbie Plankenhorn

Been there!!! I only have 2 and I get so disappointed in myself when I am being ‘that mom’. Your words really touched me. They will be my reminder when I feel frustrated and want to scream. Thank you!

22 01 2009
Katie

Did you hear Jenny Lewis in the movie, as an assistant to James Lipton? I haven’t seen it, but I have the song she did for it on my iPod (just listened to it on the bus, in fact).

22 01 2009
MKeat

WOW. I mean, WOW. You’re so eloquent in your writing. A lesson learned. A lesson shared. Thanks for your post. I’m going to enjoy the spilled applesauce!

22 01 2009
Michele

Love the story, your movie date sounds wonderful! Unfortunately your lesson is one I seem to be learning a lot lately. 🙂

22 01 2009
Harika75

Oh Rachel 🙂 Your words ring true and it’s so easy with kids to think there is one head chef.. it ain’t so and the more we enjoy their spontaneous, innocent acts of love, the less stressed we will be. BTW, Love that Gemma calls her “Clovey”.. that is SOO adorable 🙂

22 01 2009
Gina

Rach, I had tears well up reading this post. You are an awesome Mummy & what you have accomplished since I’ve known you is remarkable.
It’s brave to change your outlook but let’s face it, migrating, twin pregnancy, & mummyhood of 3 is all pretty brave. Gxx

24 01 2009
Tammy

Wow! What an incredible reminder that I needed to hear today. Thanks Rachel!

27 01 2009
natalia

oooh Rach….you just made me cry while reading this….you have no idea how many times this has happened to me and its so wonderful to know that other mums go thru it as well….and yes i felt awful everytime something like this happened and i need to change my attitude too. Thank you for sharing this and for the reminder 🙂

29 01 2009
stacey

what a good mommy you are!

2 02 2009
jen

loved loved loved this post.
sometimes “that mommy” is louder and faster than “this mommy” is. but “this mommy” needs to buck up and take over, too.
thanks for helping me see it … in better words than i ever could.

17 02 2009
Jaina

Amazing.

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